The Curse of Control

Control - the process of limiting or restricting somebody or something, or the methods used in this, to exercise power or authority over something such as a business or nation, dictate, manipulate, influence, dominate, oppress, have a hold over, hold sway over, restrain.

As stated in the past, many JPN blogs or front page articles are birthed after a specific Word from the Holy Spirit or a real life experience. Recently, I traveled to the USA due to a long term illness in family. There were some particularly trying times in respect to transportation, scheduling of travel, family relationships and such. At one very dark and lonely point in time I asked God what was taking place in our lives. His response was clear and immediate. You both are under the control of your families! This reply was not harsh or condemning – just very clear and definite. I asked and He answered. I was sincere and needed an answer!

I went on and asked the Lord about the delays and hindrances to ministry we had been facing. Again, I heard a clear reply. He said that His Anointing and Inspiration was still available to us whenever we took the time and effort to seek Him. It was as if He showed me a bank ATM card that could be used to access His Spiritual Resources in our lives and ministry. Then a final note was that we would have to work out the scheduling since we have chosen to submit to being controlled by our families. Wow! Talk about revelation knowledge!

Categories of Control

Over the next several days I began to meditate on the subject of control and found that it had been present in my life for decades. It showed up in a great number of areas of life. Here are just a few:

1. Family Relationships – husband/wife, parents/children, in-laws, brothers/sisters, and etc.
2. Church Denomination – women’s apparel, youth activities, membership requirements, ministers’ finances & reporting, pastor placement, and many other areas.
3. Nations & Governments
4. Personal Relationships
5. Religions
6. Spiritual Relationship
7. Kingdom of Darkness

Is Control Necessary or Needed?

In a word – No! We can, I believe, look at our Creator God. He would be the ultimate authority to wield the sword of control upon the earth and over His creation. Is that a part of His Nature and a Biblical principle that we find God employing in His relationship with us? Is this really something that He intended for us to utilize in our lives and relationships? Again, I would say no, in the most emphatic manner! He created something much stronger and more effective. God is Love! 1 John 4:8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. KJV Love is as strong as death! Song 8:6 Prov 10:12 Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins. KJV

Some Thoughts on Control

*Control Cancels Love!
*True Godly Love Renders Control Unnecessary!
*Jesus is the Head of His Church – He Does Not Control Her! He Loves His Bride!
*Husbands are to love their wives – not attempt to control them!
*Parents are to love their children – Biblical discipline is not control!
*The Body of Christ, Jesus’ Church – does not control the members of the Body!
*Families are to reflect God’s Love on earth – family control doesn’t show His Love!
*Loyal citizens of a nation – do not need to be controlled by their government!

What Does The Bible Say?

First of all, the word control does not occur in the Kings James Version of the Bible. Control can be found in the NIV 23 times and only once does it mention Christ bringing all things under His control at the end of times. This version does not mention God controlling mankind.
The Living Bible has 36 references to the word control. Here we find God exercising His authority or necessary sovereignty over His creation. Nowhere does it show God overriding the free will that He placed in man from the beginning of the world. Instead we see references such as Psalms 23 when David declares that the Lord is my shepherd. He leads me beside the still waters. He causes me to lie down in green pastures.

God’s Form of Leadership

Lead – Psa 23:2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. nahal (naw-hal'); flow; to conduct, and (by inference) to protect, sustain: KJV - carry, feed, guide, lead (gently, on). (Strong's Numbers and Concordance)
Psa 23:3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake KJV nachah (naw-khaw'); by implication, to transport KJV - bestow, bring, govern, guide, lead (forth), put, straiten. (Strong's Numbers and Concordance)

Lead – John 10:3 To him the porter openeth; and the sheep hear his voice: and he calleth his own sheep by name, and leadeth them out. 4 And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice. KJV exago (ex-ag'-o); to lead forth: KJV - bring forth (out), fetch (lead) out. (Strong's Numbers and Concordance)

Rule – Rev 2:27 And he shall rule them with a rod of iron; as the vessels of a potter shall they be broken to shivers: even as I received of my Father. KJV Note: This reference sounds very harsh, but look at the Greek meaning. poimaino (poy-mah'-ee-no); to tend as a shepherd of (figuratively, superviser): KJV - feed (cattle), rule. (Strong's Numbers and Concordance)

Teach – Psa 25:8 Good and upright is the LORD: therefore will he teach sinners in the way. yarah (yaw-raw'); to flow as water (i.e. to rain); figuratively, to point out (as if by aiming the finger), to teach: KJV - cast, direct, inform, instruct, lay, shew, shoot, teach (Strong's Numbers and Concordance)

Guide – Psa 25:9 The meek will he guide in judgment: and the meek will he teach his way. KJV darak (daw-rak'); to tread; by implication, to walk; also to string a bow (by treading on it in bending): KJV - archer, bend, come, draw, go (over), guide, lead (forth), thresh, tread (down), walk. (Strong's Numbers and Concordance)

Holy Spirit Guides – John 16:13 Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come. KJV hodegeo (hod-ayg-eh'-o); to show the way (literally or figuratively [teach]): KJV - guide, lead. (Strong's Numbers and Concordance)

Control is a Short Cut

Control often is actually a sign of weakness or failure in an individual, system or institution. This part is difficult to explain clearly. I am convinced this is true! We can take this principle into any of the above categories and see that it is true. A husband is short of love and has a lack of self-confidence so he resorts to attempts to control his wife. If he loves her and is secure in his relationship with his wife, he would not need control to keep her. Please allow me the liberty to quoting the old nursery rhyme. Peter, Peter pumpkin eater had a wife, but couldn’t keep her. He put her in a pumpkin shell and there he kept her very well. Oh God, help us to take our loved ones out of the control shells that we have imprisoned them in! If we truly love them, then they will normally love us in return. We won’t lose them by releasing them. Our relationship with them will now be able to flourish!

Let’s take a look at our Creator God! He made us with free will. He owns us lock, stock, and barrel. We are His spirit, soul, and body. Yet, in His Infinite Wisdom, God chose to give us free will to serve Him or not. He has every right to control us completely! He has all power and authority. Matt 28:18 And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. KJV Acts 4:12 Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. Eph 1:21-22
21 Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come: 22 And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church, KJV

This is central and crucial to our praise and worship of God. We make a choice to believe in God. We have the privilege and responsibility to accept Jesus Christ as the Son of God purely by faith. We then can choose to lift up the Name of Jesus Christ ascribing all Glory and Honor to Him. We can praise God for His Power and Might, not because it is forced on us through control, but because He loves us and we can return that love and add praise and worship! If He controlled us we could not truly praise and worship Him. “Control cancels love!”

Control Revealed

Earlier I had planned to spend quite a lot of time on the Categories of Control. After writing the past several paragraphs showing the opposite of control, it is difficult to climb down into the slimy pit of control. It would be easy to just stop at this point, but I am certain that those points need to be touched so that the presence of control can be identified and discerned in our lives.

1. Family Relationships – Control in family relationships is like other forms of abuse. It has a strong generational element. It clearly is passed down from generation to generation. Those who have been abused frequently turn into abusers. Those who have lived under family control tend to control their family members in either early or later years. A vicious cycle is set in motion and continues until it is identified, dealt with Biblically and broken.

Husbands and wives vie for control of each other, the children, the finances, and headship. This is a part of the curse after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden. (Gen 3:16) The children seek to control their siblings, parents and others in their lives. (Gen 4:8 Cain & Abel)
Parents are desperately trying to find ways to control the lives and actions of their children. In turn children have learned how to exert control of their parents. Liberal civil laws are making it more difficult for parents to discipline their own offspring. Sadly, physical, emotional and sexual abuse is rampant in the families of nations all around the world. East Asia is famous for the cultural “in-law” control and conflicts. Mother’s-in-law are well known for mistreating their son’s wife.

How tragic that the first social unit created by God has fallen into shambles in so many nations. The family is the building block for nations and churches. If the family is weak then the nation will surely fall in the future. The family is supposed to be a place of love, care and nurture. With an absence of love in many families desperate members resort of any form of control available to survive or to wreck vengeance on those who have hurt them. Pray for the families to be healed and restored. Pray that love will once again prevail in the family.

2. Church Denominations

Some may question my qualifications for writing on this category. Just let me take a few moments of your time and outline my personal involvement in a very old Pentecostal denomination. Church attendance – over 60 years. Church membership – nearly 50 years. Full time ministry – 41 years. Trans-local church administration – over 30 years. Nearly 20 years on executive leadership team. Vice chairman to general overseer – 2 years. None of this is said with any sense of pride. Just saying that I started out in the local church nursery and then sat on executive council meetings for several years. The question is where to start.

A. Women – I just couldn’t resist first going into what I consider to be one of the worst areas of control by a denomination. Finally a good number of well known ministers have begun to write on the place of the woman in ministry within a denomination. We need to realize that many positive changes have taken place in this area in recent years. These changes have been long in coming and we cannot afford to praise the denominations for merely recognizing what was God’s intent from the beginning.

a. Women in ministry – previously women could not preach, teach (in some cases they could only teach boys under the ages of 12 years), could not baptize in water, could not serve the sacraments, solemnize marriages, organize new churches, not speak in a church business meeting or serve as moderator of the same, or be ordained. I have personally attended prayer meetings while in the US military where women had to pray in rooms separate from the men. These were Americans not Muslims or Hindus!

b. Women’s Apparel – women could not cut their hair, wear slacks or pant suits, wear sleeveless or short sleeve tops. They were limited in the wearing of jewelry or the use of any kind of makeup. At one time even hair perms were not permitted.

B. Young People – In my case, we were governed (controlled) by a document called the Advice to Members. This was supposed to be read every three months in the church. This was a list of mostly don’ts. We could not go to professional baseball games, movie theaters, bowling alleys, public swimming pools, or restaurants where alcohol was served. After a church meeting I recall a group of us driving many miles to find a pizza parlor that did not serve alcohol. It seemed the only sanctioned activity was church, miniature golf or eating at a restaurant which did not serve alcohol. At youth camp the girls had to play softball in dresses. Playing baseball in a dress is not practical or very modest!

C. Church Members – There was a list of teachings that was read to each new church member when they joined the local church. This tract was to be kept at the entrance of all local churches. These teachings were brief and had several scriptures included. Some are fine and represent significant Biblical truths. My concern was the way they were used as a type of creed which was assembled by men with an agenda. Some of those have been rescinded over the past few years. Many people were prevented from church membership because they did not meet the standards outlined in this document. Others were excluded from membership when they violated one or more of these teachings. I wonder has anyone bothered to seek out those kept out or excluded by this document in order to apologize to them. All members were also subject to the Advice to Members restrictions also. I was forced to conduct church business meetings to “disfellowship” people who clearly were good Christians because they went to another denomination. We labeled them as disloyal. I have grieved and repented over those actions many times in recent years!

D. Ministers – The church ministers were controlled in several ways. They were forced to submit detailed “monthly reports”. I sat on a study body which examined the information that ministers were forced to supply. Most of what was on the reports could not be justified as to what was done when received at the church headquarters. There was an upper “limit” on the amount of tithes that a local pastor could receive in one month. Pastoral placement before was in the hands of one trans-local supervisor (overseer) who held final and non-negotiable authority of which church a pastor was assigned to. He also used to determine the term of service there. Ministerial discipline also was primarily determined by the overseer. There have been positive changes in this area, but there is nothing in place to assure each state or nation is actually following this new procedure. Ministers were admonished to only preach what had been approved or passed by the general assembly of the church. Sharon had some youth camp materials rejected because she quoted a Bible version other than the KJV.

Matt 16:18 And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. KJV Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; KJV Eph 2:19Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God; 20 And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone; KJV Eph 1:22 And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church, 23 Which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all. KJV

Please forgive me if this comes across as harsh, but it appears that the Church that Jesus Christ established and died for has been hijacked by men! The Church belongs to Him. He left directions for men to serve as “servant leaders” and stewards while the Church is still on the earth. There is church “government” but it upon His shoulders. (Isaiah 9:6-7) How dare we take the foundation of the Bible and replace it with catechisms and doctrines of men? How dare mere men become Lords over God’s Heritage?

Church leaders please read Peter’s admonition to us. 1 Peter 5:1 And now, a word to you elders of the church. I, too, am an elder; with my own eyes I saw Christ dying on the cross; and I, too, will share his glory and his honor when he returns. Fellow elders, this is my plea to you: 2 Feed the flock of God; care for it willingly, not grudgingly; not for what you will get out of it but because you are eager to serve the Lord. 3 Don't be tyrants, but lead them by your good example, 4 and when the Head Shepherd comes, your reward will be a never-ending share in his glory and honor. TLB

3. Nations and Governments

Turn on the news. Go to the internet. Read your Internet news feeds. Watch the TV news reports. Depending on what gives the highest viewer ratings you may see some examples of nations abusing and controlling their citizens. Much never makes the evening news. We have the privilege of traveling into many nations of Asia over the past few decades. Many journeys had to be cancelled because of “uprisings” in some places. I cancelled a trip to Bangkok a few years ago. The students protested government graft and corruption. Later I went in again and bought a video sold on the sidewalks. I saw soldiers in the kneeling firing positions with M-16 rifles on fully automatic shooting at crowds of students. Some say over 1000 young people disappeared.

We watched Bosnia war on the news. We were amazed as a college student stood alone in front of a Chinese army tank in Tiananmen Square in 1989. I watched the news as a Japanese freelance photographer was shot in the back by a soldier in Myanmar as he covered the protests that took place there in 2007. I visited the graves of students who were killed in protests in Korea when Rhee Sigman was president. Some were elementary age.
We have heard reports of the various slaughters in Darfur and Sudan. We have read about the “Killing Fields” in Cambodia under the Pol Pot regime by the Khmer Rouge.

Those were the highly publicized atrocities committed by governments against their own citizens. The quiet pain of improper and unnecessary government control goes on all over the world today. God-given freedom and liberty is being siphoned away without most even being aware of it. Where are the days of the patriots and citizens who helped form their own free government? They were willing to give their lives and energy to build a nation. Now, why should a few selfish men be allowed to take it over? Why did soldiers in the incidents we made mention of above take up arms and slaughter their own brothers and sisters? Excuse me for oversimplification – control. Happy, prosperous, loyal citizens don’t have to be controlled by armies and draconic laws. They will volunteer to stand up for their brothers!

4. Personal Relationships

In the popular culture of today viewed on TV, movies, and video games we can see many examples of competition at times getting down to cut throat levels of conflict. Each one is seeking to gain control or mastery over the others. This is not limited to age or gender. Gen 4:8 And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him. KJV Let’s let the Bible speak and see how it applies to life all around us today!

2 Tim 3:1You may as well know this too, Timothy, that in the last days it is going to be very difficult to be a Christian. 2 For people will love only themselves and their money; they will be proud and boastful, sneering at God, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful to them, and thoroughly bad. 3 They will be hardheaded and never give in to others; they will be constant liars and troublemakers and will think nothing of immorality. They will be rough and cruel, and sneer at those who try to be good. 4 They will betray their friends; they will be hotheaded, puffed up with pride, and prefer good times to worshiping God. 5 They will go to church, yes, but they won't really believe anything they hear. Don't be taken in by people like that. TLB

5. World Religions

Once again, we need only go to the daily news that is available to us. This week in Japan is the Obon Festival (Festival of the Dead). Well educated people will go through religion rituals welcoming their dead ancestors to their homes. They will set places at their tables. They will put out fake food for the spirits to eat. They will pretend to carry on conversations with them. On TV you may also see women in the Middle East covered from head to foot with hot black clothing because of man’s interpretation of what a prophet is reported to have taught.

In each of the major world religions millions of people will follow rituals that are prescribed by the religion’s leaders. Some of the teachings were invented just to raise money for church buildings. (1517 Pope Leo) Many of these requirements are nothing more than a form of control over the religious adherents. At one time the Bibles were chained to the pulpits in churches and written in a language which the common man could not read (Latin). Imagine that men were burned at the stake for simply translating the Bible in to the common language of the people. We watched Hindu men and women pierce their cheeks with rods to gain favor of the Hindu god they worshipped. What would cause someone to do this to their body?

Once again, let’s let the Bible speak. I cannot seem to find the element control in the following scripture reference. 1 John 4:77 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. NIV

6. Spiritual Relationship

The intent under this category is to refer to the spiritual relationship between God and man along with the relationship between believers in the Body of Christ. The scripture listed just above makes it clear that we are to have a “Love” relationship with God. The precludes the element of control. It is just not necessary. Again, I say that control hinders love!

The same holds true for the relationship between believers in the church. John 13:34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. KJV 1 Cor 12:25 This makes for happiness among the parts, so that the parts have the same care for each other that they do for themselves. 26 If one part suffers, all parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. TLB John 17:20 "I am not praying for these alone but also for the future believers who will come to me because of the testimony of these. 21 My prayer for all of them is that they will be of one heart and mind, just as you and I are, Father-that just as you are in me and I am in you, so they will be in us, and the world will believe you sent me. TLB

7. Kingdom of Darkness

2 Tim 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. KJV John 10:10 The thief 's purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness. TLB John 8:44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. KJV Isa 61:1 The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the suffering and afflicted. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted, to announce liberty to captives, and to open the eyes of the blind. TLB Luke 13:16 Then should not this woman, a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her?" NIV

Satan has no love to employ. There are only lies and fear to exercise control of those who have chosen to reject God’s Love! What a sad condition to have unconditional love available, but to decide to follow the devil instead. What a really poor choice. The text in 2 Tim 1:7 rings as clear as a clarion bell that in place of fear we can have love, power and a sound mind!

Conclusion of the Matter!

God is sovereign and has all power and authority, yet in His infinite wisdom He has chosen to relate to us, His created children through love rather than control. I believe that all of us have at times, exercised improper control of others, whether in personal relationships, family or church. When we realize that we must repent to God and take any possible steps of reconciliation and restitution with any of those we harmed. If you have suffered under control there is a good chance that you also have tried to exercise control over others around you. Control is a form of abuse. Abused people frequently become abusers also.

John 8:36 If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. KJV May we each walk in the newness of life and freedom that has been provided by the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Paul wrote much about freedom. He warned those who enjoyed the freedom of Grace to not put a human yoke on others with their religious rules and regulations.

Let’s repent for accepting control and exercising it over our brothers. Then we can be God’s instruments to help free other captives by sharing God’s Love with them. When they accept Jesus Christ as savior and Lord they will be on the road to freedom and happiness in this life and heaven one day.

Take time daily to praise God for the new life and freedom you have in Jesus Christ!

God bless you richly!

Dan Corbett
“Reaching One Among Millions”